Are Boundaries a Real Thing?
There is a lot of discussion about boundaries. Folks are trying to establish them to maintain self care, it seems. It seems like the right thing to do. Vocabulary.com defines boundary as: a border and it can be physical, such as a fence between two properties, or abstract, such as a moral boundary that society decides it is wrong to cross.
Can we Maintain Boundaries?
Boundaries come up when there is a conflict or a challenging relationship. We each operate with a set of values and there is a not another person alive that will have the same values. Some people value being exactly on time, while others are less concerned about such a thing. There really is no right or wrong. It can, however, feel wrong when someone does not respect ours.
Are Your Boundaries Flexible or Rigid?
There are an abundance of books, articles, or opinions on saying no. Boundaries with the self, children, coworkers, friends and family members. From the article, Flexible Boundaries: Affirming Ourselves While Staying Connected, by John Amodeo: Finding such a middle path isn’t easy. It takes time, practice, and plentiful mistakes to know our limits and how far we feel comfortable stretching. But engaging in conversations where we have our voice and honor other’s experience, we create a climate for the intimate, loving relationships we long for.
Cultural Concerns
These words are my opinions and thoughts on the subject of boundaries. They are shaped by the experiences I have had. It is an important discussion to have with a person you trust. You are important and it takes time to figure out what you need. What you need changes too. Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others. Brene Brown says: Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.
